Incidents

"So.." said the girl next to me at the bus stop quite confused as to why I had frozen still for such a long time after she asked me "Will you be mine?". "So will you? I know i'm not alot, but I know you'll be made happy with me by your side!" she says it like it were the simplest thing in the world, really. But the problem was, she didn't fit my style. I wanted someone as strange as I, not the perfect mother to my children.

And so, with much simplicity in my eyes and a quiet flame of sympathy burning in my heart I said "No, I'm sorry darlin' but this just won't do. You see the problem is that you just aren't insane enough, you haven't seen the world with eyes like mine. In the start we'll be happy, but I have far too many problems, i'll come home late and smelling like alcohol, i'll spend far too much money in cigarettes and useless trinkets, etc. You should find yourself a nice boy though, one who treats you real fancy."

Needless to say that girl looked at me with a very pure hatred, and threw a hot cup of coffee at my genitals. And that's why i'm here explaining this to you right now Dr!