Ill Musician.

I'm sorry hun, I just haven't been feeling myself lately.

I have thoughts, that run through my brain as if they were readying themselves for a marathon. But know they will win no trophy. They are strong, heavy, and persistant. They make me miss you, and they make me miss me. Yeah this rides been fun, but i'm getting a little queasy. And I still remember our July afternoons, Long Island was a blast with your face stamped on it.

I can't help this shaking, cigarettes in the morning despite them making me hungrier and it causes me alot of pain. But lately I just haven't cared. And God dear, i'm so tired of stepping outside. My bones hurt so much from walking and walking, it's so needless when you aren't around. I leave the house on rainy days, the air is heavy on my cloudy lungs but the sun will hurt my sleepless eyes. And despite them being this way, i've slept so much my back hurts.

I've no goals anymore without you by my side, i'm sorry i've become this. I think you'll be happy to hear that despite the pain in my fingers i've managed to play some guitar, but there is no more audience, just a cat outside my window and a picture of a man on life support on the back of my cigarettes whom I can relate to. It appears the big city is way more lonely than i initialy thought. So far my conclusion dear is that: Love is in the air but my nose is stuffed.

Tear Ducts

You blew away the pollen with your allergic sneezing. Your glasses nearly fell off from all the trouble. Your sister let you borrow her car, after a long drive to the beach we had a couple of cigarettes and pulled up the covers because it was quite cold even with the car heater on.
At times we fight because of your drinking but I could never let you find out I actually don't mind dear.

I still remember last year when I got sick and you took care of me, even skipped work to do it. I told you I felt horrible that you had to go through all the trouble just to take care of me and you leaned over with a cup of soup, a malicious smile and said "It just isn't winter without a cold, love."

I love you so much I don't think you understand. From the way the autumn winds make your dress dance to the various things and sacrifices we've agreed to make for eachother. I love you trully. And you wont take this seriously, you'll say i'm being silly and odd. But it's the truth. I am here for you always, dear.