Insomniac Surprises

Hello beautiful.

It's 4 in the morning and I see no point in going to bed.

You aren't around, and even though you told me to not be upset, I got, just a little.

I had a mild case of bronchitis, I smoked too many cigarettes in my boredom.

Technology just isn't fair to me, I think. To deprive me of someone I love so much.

I mean, I really do.

Com todas as minhas forças, eu te amo. Caralho como eu te amo.

It's still 4 in the morning, I type fast. But I still see no point in going to bed.

You aren't next to me, and even though you told me not to worry, I did, just a little.

I'm still coughing a little but i'll be fine, I want to have another cigarette, i'm still bored.

But I won't have one, not for a while, because I think about you.

I think about you before doing anything.

Até em coisas que não tem nada a ver com você, penso em você só pra você virar parte.

It's nearing 4:10 in the morning, I've listened to "Clear My Head" by Ivy at least 5 times.

I hope you like this, I hope this makes you smile. I really do, a lot.

I'm sorry baby, I just can't focus on words anymore.

I'm scared, you're good at reassuring me and making me feel safe but I can't help it.

I'm so far, I hate it so much.

Please understand, please don't feel like I don't trust you.

You know I still want my life with you, You know I still wait around for that.

For the weddings, and the kids, and the mapa-mundi na parede.

And the dates, the movies, the food, the cuddling, the everything.

The discussions over Santos x São Paulo, the discussions over music.

Not over messenger services, but actually here, quero tapas de amor ao vivo.

I've got an idea, that i'll work on your drawing for the remainder of however long i'll stay without sleep. I'm sorry, I just lost my want for it, I mean, sleep is necessary but without you it's so much harder to do.

I hope I stay working on it long enough to say hi when you go to school.

I miss you, I miss you so much.

I hope this takes you by surprise.

I really do.

Eu te amo, tanto amorzinho, tanto.