The Daydream That Counts Words

'Till I see you i'll daydream, i'll daydream about the days we'll spend together.

My heart will race, my insides will freeze up. Time will stop, and i'll walk away from myself for a second to observe it.

Possibly, i'll get nervous and ahead of myself. And in that situation, say things that will go beyond what I want to say, that might make you smile, that might make me comfortable.

No one will watch us, because they'll be paying attention to other things in their world. But i'll always feel like they do. And i'll shy away, turn into a wave, come back and maybe kiss you.

I'll hunt for your smiles, I don't need to but i'll try extra hard to be one of the greatest things that happened in your life. I'll surrender to every single desire you may have, I might give in and fall for you.

I'll beg for the winters to come by quick, so I can have a good excuse for us to stay in.

I'll admit to summer as being times we do spectacular things together, and spring and fall will fit into our schedules somehow, we'll try.

But in the end year round the fact is, you just get better.

On rainy days i'll spend my time trying to find good words to sway you.

And we can save the sunny days for doing laundry.

Because our inside jokes just never cease to put a smile on me.

Overall without trying to put weight on your shoulders i'll put down my heavy shields for a second and say you are the best reason for getting up in the morning i've had in many years.

When I get by with a little help from my friends and feel at 99%, you come by and add one more.

I still get the feeling that you make me think anything is possible no matter how insane it seems. And I enjoy that, I enjoy that the most. Or it's tied, possibly tied with other things I completely adore about you and who you are. I'll bring you into my little world, because of all this, and i'll spill out more of these silly sounding words.

And despite the past 392 words, I can't bring myself to say 3 more without you being around.

A Midnight Poem, That Chooses Not To Rhyme

I want to wake up in the mornings and realize my marriage wasn't a farce.
I want to love my children and my job.
I want my society to have more love, less hate.
I want to be like the guy next to me
But I want him to not be oblivious to all around him.

I want the sun to come out when it's best for me
And I want the skies to cloud when I stay up all night
I want to smile a little more, at the world I see
I want to smell fresh cut grass, even when i'm smoking.
And I want you to see me, like I see you.

I want the skies to turn pink every time we are together.
I want a time when we're together to come soon.
I want to be able to fast-forward not just my watch,
But the time around me along with it when I do.
I want to make you smile more often, and those kinds of things.

I want to take a day, to spin around the middle of nothing.
With thoughts that mirror the landscape.
I want to write beautiful things that play with the words
I want to sing songs that will forever ring in your ears
I want to paint things that will be your sight for years.

But in the end, all I really want is to be me
No strings attached I want to be real and keep at it till I can't
I want to spin you around along with me, everyone.
I want to take the time to write a little more about me
Without having to worry what people think, or why they do so.

La Existencia Humana

Existem, pensamentos. Alguns que passam rapido e não dão tempo de anotar, e alguns que ficam impregnando a mente de qualquer pobre coitado que se deixa passar por momentos de fraqueza. Existem também aqueles que duram uma eternidade quando voce anda pra praia de noite olhando pro mar, e não existem pensamentos quando se anda na orla de dia. Aqueles que tentam existir, se misturam com outros pensamentos que já vieram ou ainda vão passar, e nada acaba acontecendo. E você, simplismente se encontra olhando pro céu esperando alguma garota passar e te dizer alguma coisa absolutamente linda, de tirar o folego.

Existem, amores. Alguns eternos, outros nem tanto. Nunca se pode contar nos dedos o numero de vezes que o coração bate ao ver qualquer pessoal, a não ser que você não tem coração, apesar que neste caso você não pode ler isso e provávelmente está morto. E nesse caso, isso não se aplica à você, me desculpe. Existem amores divertidos, que são aventuras entre duas pessoas (consideradas geralmente pela sociedade ao redor como Idiotas) que são felizes juntas. E existem amores sérios, todo mundo fica de cara amarrada e sem a menor demonstração de afeto verbal. Mais isso não quer dizer que não é amor, não entendo bem mais também nunca me entenderam. Por tanto, estamos quites.

Existem, dores. Aquelas que fazem as veias vibrar feito cordas de violão espanhol, e aquelas que deixam no chão o touro mais forte chorando. Ambas fazem o ser querer ficar inconciente. Mais isso acontece, somos só humanos, infelizmente nenhuma perfeição se encontra no momento pros corpos ou mentes.A não ser que você é o sujeito sem coração, nesse caso você sente muito pouco talvez nada. E de novo me desculpe, pois esse trecho não se aplica à você, se ao menos tivesse uma memória poderia se juntar pra ter um pouco de nostalgia, mais nem isso tem, pois os vermes já comeram tudo, pobre coitado.

Existem noites, dias, tardes.
Existem beijos existe amor existe vida.
Existe tudo, existe nada, existe tudo no meio do nada.
Existe poesia existe musica, arte, filmes na madrugada com você.
Existem animais, plantas, insetos, mamiferos, reinos, democracias.
Existem casais dançando na chuva com sorrisos no rosto, sorrisos bobos, existe beleza feiura.
Existem pessoas cansadas da vida, existem pessoas cheia de vida pra dar.
Existem doentes, saudáveis, pessoas, vivas ou mortas existem.
Eu existo se você existe, existe vice-versa.

Por fim, mais uma vez: Existe amor, existe vida.

Rants Sequel

Can't write much, can't think.
My bodys a little weak, I just woke up, it happens.
Can't tell you if it's normal or not but lets not talk about it.
I'll never understand what you see in this country, the people in it freak me out a little.
But it helps that if it were anywhere else, I wouldn't see you.
And we're even, because i'll never understand why I want to put all the people that have passed by my life in a suitcase, and take them anywhere I go.

And i'd take you too, if it were alright with you.
To a place sorrounded by beaches, an island if you will.
Where every corner feels like home, it only rains when it's best for us.
The comics stores sell all our favorite chocolates.
Preferably a place with no centipedes.

Nerds

Do que me adianta essa saudade
Que quando bate e rebate
Me deixa desesperado, sem chao.
E quando volta, haja coracao.
Me agradam seus sorrisos, o seu jeito maravilhoso de ser. E o que me mata nao é fica distante e sim ficar sem te ver. A distancia perto de ficar sem contato aliás, até tem cara de paraíso perto disso.

À imaginação agrada a idéia de ficar com você na praia com o nascer do sol e nossos desenhos na areia. Uma mão minha que encontra uma sua e os sorrisos sem jeito que aparecem brilham como as estrelas que horas atrás faziam fila no céu pra embelezar nossas memórias nos dias que vão vir depois desse.

Pra que me adianta esse sufoco?Que só vai embora no dia que eu te encontrar ao lado da linha vermelha da minha infancia e adolescencia. Quero te mostrar tudo isso.
Meu deus é tanto que quero te mostrar e tão pouco tempo pra ver tudo. Não sei se gasto um pouco desse tempo tentando te impressionar ou emocionar com palavras bonitas que com tempo aprendi.

E eu queria te dizer mais, paginas e paginas de coisas que já foram ditas por poetas melhores e mais velhos que eu. Mais tudo que sai não só já foi dito, mais continua sendo verdade.
Me agrada muito o que sinto por você.

Letter

Thank you friends, for keeping this light on.
Despite my coming and going so frequently and being unpredictable, you have stood by me for interesting moments. Needless to say i've discovered rain.
And if in the end, the people on the streets are still scared of me or think differently of who I am without knowing me, thats okay.
I think in the end what we most need is to rediscover the beauty in life, that exists without our knowledge. A special eye for these massive events that seem ever so... Tiny.

For most of my life, i've seen myself as a wind. That comes without warning of any type and enters the homes to put out all the candles. By the time you light them all, there I am standing over you with a joking smile and candy. I'll leave the same way, and hope it doesn't upset you.
I'll write for all of you, i'll draw for you all. When you get down, i'll shove you in a rocket to the moon. When you feel sad, i'll knock you over into the sea so you can hide the tears. Hug me if need be, rant to me if you wish.

I'll do my best to revolutionize, but make no promises.

Friends new or old, strange or normal, etc. I will love you all the same.
In my absence, remember this please. Even with my poetry weakened by the rain, and my words senseless, I will try my best to help.

Rants

Very little rests, i've been slaughtered roaming the empty streets and have seen little of those who have commited this said crime, leaving me with a small choice of words to choose from.
You see, the feelings that have come over me still reflect as waves that drown me. I can't even taste the salt anymore. My thoughts are empty and i've seen little outside since coming in here. The windows get foggy in the cold weather and I feel no motivation to clear them up. Even with the hopes that outside there'll be a friendly face waving hello.

A weakness that deepens the despair, little of which I know of, it's a fairly recent feeling.
Not that those around my wavelengths don't care, they could possibly. But over the years the last thing i'll remember are their valiant efforts to put a smile on my face. They'll be forgotten by a force bigger than myself that will re-blend their faces in the crowd, like grains of sand in a desert. Teeny tiny i've been stepped on, but don't complain.

I'd dance by myself but theres no music, just alot of sleep to be done. And I calmly walk along the shore, wondering why after all these years i'm back here. There isn't much here for me, is there? No bigger forces trying to teach me anything, soft work and low expectations. They'll wonder what happened to my dreams, the same I wonder all nights and days. But no one warned me of such an episode taking place in my rocky life.


In the end, I wreck my mind.

Damn

I'll scream for a little freedom and they'll send me distant angels bearing gifts for my restless heart. If I bite, a fish dragging his bait against the jetstreams. And i'll do it, chances are.
Our memories will rush through my mind and hit like rain drops on the back of my head.
Walking on the streets feeling the moist concrete against my soles, missing you in the big city.
Bent spines will straighten in situations where the vocal cords have to quiet down thunderstorms.

Head against the pillow debating with the masterminds, not many kids to talk to in these four walls but my shadow and reflection will sometimes answer to my pleas. Walking back and fourth trying to keep my impatience down while you insist on walking over the bridges here instead of flying. I stop my mental rant to note down an old mans despair over life, not that he's told me anything about his life but as he sits his drink down on the table and has a staring contest with the sky... Something he hasn't done in his life haunts me.

I try to write the right thing down, but the goosebumps from the cold winds stop me from thinking too far into it.

Grant St. Summers

You shy away, quiet down away from me.

I hit you up with a smile and pass the ball, uneffected by the sorrow.

The situation becomes more difficult, tension resides in the room that once harbored summer.

With a dead silence and birds on the outside peeking in to see the future of this.

We collide.

The cloud of sadness squirms away unfortunate about the smiles overtaking us

Lips moving closer as we hear the cardiac drum beats of our chests

The moment that once halted our systems

Now lets out jets of blood through the veins

Young, and restless.

It's been ten years since 1999 dear, and I still tilt my hat before leaving off to work with headphones shielding me from the world outside of our nest. Summer or not theres a hoodie always covering these tired shoulders, let it be winter soon, I want a valid excuse to stay home more often these days. Still feeling bad about not being able to join you in bed at the same time, i'm always later with these projects of mine, juggling our life with much love in mind and pencil lines up and down turning into the sounds of spraying up and down the streets.

And these footsteps I follow, a little loose and confusing even to myself, will keep me following alongside with the... hold on. I rushed, jumped the gun. Let's start over.

We're made of patience, more you than me. I'm still in a soap box racer going down my old childhood street with no goggles trying to beat all the kids by any means necessary. And you're still at the end of the road daydreaming. It's been like this since I can remember, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We maintain an innocence once forgotten by me, with a loss of faith in the world we live, but your winter nights have changed all of this for me. And it ain't a thank you note, it's a memo. Something to remind you that i'm always here for you, regardless of the circumstances.

You'll find it weird, but it's the way I am.